I bet he comes in French.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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