I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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