apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
