This is not my ceiling
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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