i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
