im drinking this country out of the recession.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we made out on top of his cat.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
