Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
