dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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