ugly people sure do ruin things
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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