dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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