this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
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...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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