Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
