do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
