So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
