im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
