stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize