how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
All I want is dick and wine.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
