I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
