Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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