I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
