What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
