the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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