i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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