U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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