its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
