She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
