my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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