she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I believe in your delicious
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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