first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
