peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies