Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."

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(661): I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry." http://tfl.nu/yxdf

Replies (18) Good night (991) Bad night (3953)
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(714): View more from California

He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings

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(714): He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings http://tfl.nu/vyv5

Replies (63) Good night (2578) Bad night (682)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

You love popeyes more than me

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?

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(402): You love popeyes more than me (1-402): does delicious chicken come out of your vagina? http://tfl.nu/hcyr

Replies (34) Good night (4775) Bad night (1134)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.

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(412): Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super. http://tfl.nu/bpjq

Replies (23) Good night (881) Bad night (5217)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list

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(413): She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list http://tfl.nu/8owq

Replies (20) Good night (11619) Bad night (1072)
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(914): View more from New York

i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school

(1-914): View more from New York

oh right the one that ends on your bed

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(914): i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school (1-914): oh right the one that ends on your bed http://tfl.nu/wrnw

Replies (8) Good night (6285) Bad night (918)
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(562): View more from California

youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.

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(562): youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period. http://tfl.nu/nfk9

Replies (10) Good night (3035) Bad night (1058)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

We should reintroduce naked Mondays

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(662): We should reintroduce naked Mondays http://tfl.nu/agz2

Replies (7) Good night (2321) Bad night (766)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.

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(647): Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg. http://tfl.nu/wi3n

Replies (1) Good night (1333) Bad night (499)
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(315): View more from New York

Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?

(540): View more from Virginia

Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude

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(315): Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time? (540): Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude http://tfl.nu/szgw

Replies (9) Good night (1055) Bad night (2266)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie

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(803): this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie http://tfl.nu/26xl

Replies (1) Good night (784) Bad night (333)
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(310): View more from California

I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.

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(310): I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl. http://tfl.nu/jncu

Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (377)
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(386): View more from Florida

I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks

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(386): I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks http://tfl.nu/f8et

Replies (2) Good night (852) Bad night (254)
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(301): View more from Maryland

He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy

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(301): He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy http://tfl.nu/agcj

Replies (2) Good night (568) Bad night (371)
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(260): View more from Indiana

I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.

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(260): I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot. http://tfl.nu/vnl1

Replies (6) Good night (556) Bad night (253)

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