Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic

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  (317): You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic http://tfl.nu/71gh
  Replies (1) Good night (1529) Bad night (874)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now

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  (928): i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now http://tfl.nu/zt2g
  Replies (19) Good night (695) Bad night (5637)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.

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  (815): I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value. http://tfl.nu/83po
  Replies (14) Good night (4794) Bad night (793)
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  (619): View more from California

  you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.

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  (619): you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you. http://tfl.nu/x6wp
  Replies (9) Good night (6073) Bad night (760)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.

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  (513): There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer. http://tfl.nu/7obs
  Replies (13) Good night (4183) Bad night (1033)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.

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  (203): We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved. http://tfl.nu/1hyb
  Replies (31) Good night (6046) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza

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  (708): I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza http://tfl.nu/44q3
  Replies (24) Good night (6690) Bad night (1621)
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  (760): View more from California

  all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.

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  (760): all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing. http://tfl.nu/78qs
  Replies (6) Good night (1993) Bad night (710)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.

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  (503): Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow. http://tfl.nu/26gh
  Replies (10) Good night (1799) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.

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  (269): P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema. http://tfl.nu/a51s
  Replies (8) Good night (780) Bad night (1471)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk

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  (780): It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk http://tfl.nu/34yj
  Replies (8) Good night (959) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night

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  (248): Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night http://tfl.nu/efb0
  Replies (1) Good night (329) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.

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  (416): what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/f5ud
  Replies (5) Good night (1179) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life

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  (618): If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life http://tfl.nu/7oxt
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems

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  (403): hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems http://tfl.nu/kiwx
  Replies (1) Good night (146) Bad night (238)

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