hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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