Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now

(469): View more from Texas

Pride?

(214): View more from Texas

thats a pack of cougars

(469): View more from Texas

go fuck yourself

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(802): View more from Vermont

good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...

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(720): View more from Colorado

the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.

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(631): View more from New York

She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.

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(410): View more from Maryland

If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina

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(773): View more from Illinois

And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive

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(626): View more from California

I can't believe just smoked out of a pear

(909): View more from California

I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive

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