Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.

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  (949): i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole. http://tfl.nu/wmi4
  Replies (37) Good night (650) Bad night (3143)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow

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  (774): im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow http://tfl.nu/d8ac
  Replies (10) Good night (4376) Bad night (676)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.

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  (832): i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week. http://tfl.nu/mv1q
  Replies (64) Good night (1100) Bad night (10936)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.

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  (717): Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list. http://tfl.nu/k33x
  Replies (28) Good night (4926) Bad night (1023)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I wish I had a frozen water bed.

  (253): View more from Washington

  best. idea. ever.

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  (734): I wish I had a frozen water bed. (253): best. idea. ever. http://tfl.nu/r1w7
  Replies (58) Good night (5852) Bad night (2121)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning

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  (904): to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning http://tfl.nu/efma
  Replies (8) Good night (1126) Bad night (2755)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.

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  (484): I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet. http://tfl.nu/aaoq
  Replies (1) Good night (1061) Bad night (1682)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test

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  (910): I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test http://tfl.nu/ucs5
  Replies (4) Good night (2000) Bad night (544)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?

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  (410): What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots? http://tfl.nu/z5fp
  Replies (6) Good night (1170) Bad night (502)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?

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  (330): If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve? http://tfl.nu/pwke
  Replies (1) Good night (1010) Bad night (363)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave

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  (404): I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave http://tfl.nu/c1xk
  Replies (4) Good night (1032) Bad night (663)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.

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  (360): I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box. http://tfl.nu/hoaw
  Replies (2) Good night (1209) Bad night (366)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.

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  (863): Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house. http://tfl.nu/4quh
  Replies (6) Good night (993) Bad night (478)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.

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  (561): I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics. http://tfl.nu/2iwb
  Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (356)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!

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  (503): So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30! http://tfl.nu/8l9n
  Replies (4) Good night (675) Bad night (281)

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