just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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