after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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