I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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