He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
