Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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