I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I want her autograph on my taint
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
