Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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