Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am puke
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
