Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
