or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
