Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
