so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
