C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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