the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
this boner is exhausting
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
