Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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