Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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