You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
