I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
