she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
