so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
