He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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