Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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