One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
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I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
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I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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