My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
