but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
