just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize