This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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