worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize