one two three fourrrrnication!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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