All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize