I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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