and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
