GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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