Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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