You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
