these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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