If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Randomize
