i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Drunk walkin through police station. America
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
